Icarus.

I am a see-saw. I am sad or I am happy. I struggle to balance myself. I am one or the other; never in between. My emotions get away from me, I don't feel like I'm in control. I am in their control, I am a slave to my own emotions. Their chains pull me the way they want. I feel lonely. I am surrounded by people, but I feel lonely. I'm not bothered when I'm happy - those days are the good ones. I am your king and I rule all that I can see. The world is my oyster. I can fly.

It's the comedown that hurts. Having your wings clipped at 10,000 ft by the rolling storm that crushes you. Falling back down into a sea of sadness below, Icarus. Waiting for the inevitable hit as you breach the water's surface, cascading down deeper as you struggle to fight the water forcing you down. You accept your fate, that today you are drowning. You won't die, you won't drown forever, but maybe that's worse. You will be trapped here, the only thing keeping you alive is the fuel of another good day. A day where the sun will rise and you will soar across the eastern sky in a blaze of glory.

Once you've given up completely, you accept that maybe this is the time you drown and die; this is your final hopeful gulp of air being replaced with the foul taste of salt water. As you sink further into the ocean, your life flashes before your eyes. Your bruised and battered body hits the oceans floor. Your life wasn't what you wanted, it wasn't how you wanted, it didn't have the people you wanted, you didn't do the things you wanted to. The life that you controlled wasn't really yours, you merely lived it. The inevitability of death and her hideous face reared up towards you has made you realize, this isn't it. Your life is not a chosen one, but a gifted one. The life you had such sweet plans for is ending every moment you accept your fate against the oceans cold unforgiving floor. 
You look around and question your surroundings. Perhaps if the plankton and scum of the sea can survive all the way down here, perhaps I can too? Perhaps I asked too much of my gift. Expected too much. Your choice has been made, not to give into deaths luring calls, but to exist; for now, how you can. A brilliant life you may not lead, but a life you will. All of a sudden the waters force doesn't seem so horrid anymore. The acceptance of your current predicament has given birth to a new sense of existence.
You kick your legs, you spread your arms; you're swimming towards the surface.

You break the waters surface like a volcano erupting, into the air you fly. Despite knowing your victory might be short lived, you feel unconquerable as you sore the sky in an air filled with pure happiness. A thirst for knowing gets the better of you as your glaze at the water, the horrid sounds of the waves crash and thud below you. The thought of what could've been crosses your mind and you can't help but wonder, what if I had given up? As you fly and whisk through the clouds, the sea calms below you and a brighter day seems to have dawned. Could this be a change, a time for you to fly uninterrupted; perhaps having hit rock bottom has allowed you to see things in a new light. Your burden is gone and you've taken flight. Nothing holding you back, only open skies from here on out.

That day is the one. The one day you remember for the rest of your life. The day you decided that drowning - it's not for you.
The day you decided that life,
Is what you wanted it to be.
Despite all of the strife,
You will never flee,
You will face your problems head on,
And you will live on.
This life might be rough,
But fuck, aren't you tough?

Good.

So I'm moving overseas.
I've started culling through my possessions, throwing things away, creating multiple salvation army piles and giving things to friends all in preparation to move.
I have moved a lot in the last 5 years. Every time I move house, I find two things that just obliterate my emotions everytime.

The first is a letter from my dad. It is the single most beautiful, amazing, inspiring, incredible, honest thing I have ever read in my life. He wrote it for me in a time where we weren't really getting along and our relationship needed some mending. It's five yellow pages are stained with salty tear drops I've poured onto these pages every time I find that damn little shoebox that hides this beautiful literature. It is absolutely inspiring. I won't tell you anything from it because of how personal it is but every time I read it, I melt. It makes me proud of the family I belong to, proud of the man who is my number one role model and proud of myself as a person. I've had some down times, like anyone has and pulled out those letters because it re-assures me that I am on the right path in life with who I am as a person. My moral compass is true, I am a good person and I am loved. It's so touching because I question those things all the time. Every day.

I wish I was the kind of person who did things and didn't dwell on them. I wish my actions were made and I felt no regret, remorse or doubt. But unfortunately, I am not. I constantly question my own actions. Would the slightest difference have been a butterfly effect? I try, I really do, to make the correct choices in life. Sometimes though, I don't. I make horrible choices. I make decisions that ultimately really hurt other people. Those decisions are the ones that linger with me, not as a burden but as a reminder of what's good. We make mistakes all of the time and that's okay, we just have to grow a need to want to learn from them.


The other thing I find when I move is not another letter, but a book. A book written as a letter by an ex-girlfriend. We had a horrible relationship, with a varying range of issues on both our parts that ended quite horribly. When we broke up, she wrote me this letter in a book. After all of the drama, the fights, the tears and all of the bullshit she wrote some incredibly beautiful and lovely things. Again, I won't go into it heavily because it is a personal story of my life but one of my favourite bits of the whole letter is this part,
"I believe that someone could love me one day not because of the feelings you expressed for me but because of the ones I expressed for you and that maybe if I felt that way about you then someone, somewhere could feel that way about me"

I'll stop right here and say right now before you continue on reading - I don't feel the need to cover up or hide my real emotions on things. I try to be an honest person and share my true feelings on things. Yes, this is quite sappy, emotional and a bit lame but it's how I feel and putting it on paper helps me sort my mind out.

Anyway. To know that I touched someone in that way in my life is such an unbelievable feeling. Regardless of the fact things didn't work out between us, I feel as though the relationship both taught us more about life then we thought we'd have to learn.


This time moving however (after crying over the first two) I discovered something I don't normally. A brown paper bag filled with little notes. These notes are from a year 12 school camp where everyone had to write something lovely and nice about someone else and put it in there bag anonymously. Classic school camps right and who hangs onto that shit. Well, I do. Anyway so I opened up this bag and I started flicking through these notes until I got to one that I knew. It read,
"Chris, you're so supportive and caring to everyone. A gentleman"

I read the note and all the lovely mushy gooey feelings I had from my 2 letters were gone. I was overcome with the feeling of sadness. If you were to ask that person now what they would write on my anonymous card I can guarantee you it wouldn't be very reflective of me in a good light and they definitely wouldn't use the word gentleman. I understand that yes, people drift apart and they change and friendships end and that's life.

But I don't like that. I want to be best friends with the person I met ten minutes ago and best friends with the person I've known since grade two. Yes, people change and they grow but at the end of the day we're all people and the reasons why we can't all get along are so petty. Humans over complicate a lot of really simple things. Humans connecting should be the most basic thing.

Regardless of all of that, I look back at parts of my life and the way I handled things and interacted with others and I wish, using the things I know now, I could do them differently. The power of hindsight really is great. But unfortunately the past is the past and your actions are irreversible. The best two things we can do are:
1. Learn. Learn from our mistakes. Reflect on our actions. Pro-actively try to avoid past mistakes. Consciously make ourselves aware of our own actions, vocal and physical.
2. Forgive. Accept that everyone is still learning and growing and changing. They always will be. Every new day is different and scary and people make mistakes and that's okay because we're all humans and we all do it.

Taking risks on people and being open to getting hurt is good. It's really good. It's scary and risky but courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're afraid.

.

Cancer.

Have you ever thought that the problems in your life, are your own problems?
That they're so much your own, you even created them.
That perhaps the cancer in your life, is not,
Your job,
Your lack of money,
Your friends,
Your car,
Your house,
Your partner,
But perhaps,
It's you?

Are you your own worst enemy? What if you are the ultimate self-saboteur?
The only thing standing in your way on the path to success and happiness is your very own self?
Consider.

Things get shitty. If you think your friends are an issue in your life, so you destroy all bridges. Cut down all forms of friendship with the people you know only now as 'the past'. Find yourself some new friends and everything seems pretty great.

Things get shitty again. Your job, you hate that shit. Quit it? Righto. You give your boss the old, see ya later mate and you get yourself a new job. Everything again seems pretty great.

Things get shitty again. That's right, again. What's left? Your partner. The only remaining issue can surely only be them. You ditch your partner and go out and find yourself an 8 instead of a 7 this time. Surely that must've been the issue all along.

An upgraded partner, a brand new job, a sick new bunch of mates, life is bliss.

Then, what if it's not? How many different keys will you try in the door before realizing that maybe it's not the keys that are the issue, perhaps it's the lock.


Perhaps you need to be cautious of yourself every day. Perhaps every day you need to be aware of your actions and the person you are and are becoming. The constant consideration of your current  self for the undoubted betterment of your future self. Understanding of course that everyone else too must be facing the same battle and granting them fair slack for their mistakes on their same constant journey to be an improved person.

Change in life is good. Self-inflicted change is fantastic. Super fantastic. So if you're a person that's down with that well, shit man, you're a pretty cool dude. The issue people seem to struggle with is having change in their life that they don't have control over. The changes that occur with no warning or signs. One moment something is this, the next it's that. I think that's why people find death so hard. It's an inevitable factor of life. If you're born, you'll die. The hard part about that is that is you don't choose when your number's up, it just is. People always say they wouldn't find the passing of others so hard if they could just have known and been able to just say goodbye. But anyway, uncontrollable change! People freak out, they shut down, go into absolute mental fits when something doesn't go their way.

Why is that? When our surroundings change and life throws us a challenge or something different, why is it that we find it so hard to adapt to that? We should be able to cop something different and thrive from it. Isn't that living? Isn't that fantastic? Isn't that beautiful?
Life is a battlefield and we're all caught in the crossfire. Wouldn't it be incredible to run?
Just run.
Straight into that field.
Fuck the bullets.
Just run.
Live.
If your life is nothing but a battlefield, let's see how far you can make it.
Despite all the shit. Despite bullets pelting you, knocking you down. How many times are you going to get back up and keep running? I'll tell you how many. Infinite times. You'll kick yourself every time you do it and say 'why'. But you know why and that's what drives you to get back up each time. Get back up, pain throbbing, head pounding, heart aching, body burning, but you'll get back up regardless. You're a lot stronger than you think. Because you know, if you stay still and you don't get back up, well, you're already dead. If you're not trying to live, then the simple fact is you're not really living.



Being alive takes effort. Really living is a whole other story.
But isn't that what we're here for?
To live, not just survive.
Maybe there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe this is it. You're in the light. For now, let's pretend it is because there sure as hell ain't no motivator to live as good as the fear of death.

Four things.

I don't know what I want from life.

Well I do.

Just not right now. 

I know what I want from say when I'm 30 onwards. From now until then I have no idea. I'm led to believe in this time I'm supposed to do four things.

Step 1. Find the thing I love doing most.

Step 2. Find a way to get paid to do it.

Step 3. Find the woman of my dreams

Step 4. Marry the dreamy woman.

The problem is - were given all these expectations and things were 'supposed' to do - but not actually told exactly when or anything about them. 

The perfect job? Well that's up to you to decide.

The dreamy woman? Well she's the woman of your dreams, not everyone else's. Otherwise we'd all be chasing the same woman. 

As new generations are born, the 'rules' change. Not slightly and never really subtly either. Step back two generations to an 18 year old girl and she'd probably be prepping herself for marriage. Look at an 18 year old girl now, well marriage isn't on the cards for anytime soon. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, just that it's a thing. 

The changing of 'rules' between generations, actually works out quite well for us. The window of opportunity for each individual life element only expands. If you're not married by the time you're 21 not only is it not a big deal anymore it's a normal thing not to be. If you are married at 21 well congratulations and good on you. 

Despite the fact it is a good thing and me agreeing on that, it doesn't change the fact of how daunting it is. I'm constantly worried about making the wrong choice in life because great opportunities don't always come around that often and when they do you better damn sure you make good use of it and that means making the right decision. 

I know people say that when you meet 'the one' you just know and everything's all rainbows, fairy bread and eternal happiness. But I unfortunately must ask the question of what if I'm wrong? What if of the 6 billion people on the planet the one person I pick to be my one and only is the wrong one. Of 6 billion people, I call the odds at getting it wrong. 

I'm sure you instantly think that's a morbid, glass half empty way of looking at things. But I can't help but wonder about the mistakes I may have made and could possibly make. You can't say that I won't. But who am I to say that I will. I hope that when she comes along that I do just know and everything is all rainbows, fairy bread and eternal happiness. But in the meantime what am I supposed to do? Society says date, which is like a trial marriage. If you can do it for so long and everything is right then you continue. How am I supposed to know then if I do and it flows and seems alright, that it actually is? Is this another case where you just know? 

My point is this. How do I overcome the fear of making the wrong decisions in life that are making me too scared to even attempt to make the right decisions. 

Not just a question only applicable to this situation but to many. 

People often refer to a job as 'what you want to do in life'.

I currently am yet to find what I want to do in life. So in the meantime ill do what works, do what pays and do what keeps me interested. I don't find myself living to work at all. I find myself working to live. Work is merely a tool that allows me to live the life I really want to on weekends. I may never find exactly what I 'want to do in life' but I'm okay with that. I might find lots of little things that I like doing over my lifetime. If you live to work, that's great for you and I'm really glad you've found something so fantastic that when you wake up in the morning you just can't wait for the day to start. But for the rest of us who do the things that we need to do, or do what is available because nothing much interests us or just do a job because no matter how shit it is you take home a butt load of cash and some awesome holidays to spend that cash - we'll just do that. And that's okay. Because at the end of the day, if you're happy with what you're doing and what your life looks like standing in your shoes, then that's all that matters. It's your life, your call. 

Easy.

Life is easier than you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable.

Impossible.
The word, is only defined by your personal expectations of your own capabilities.  If you define your own powers and your own strength as weak, everything seems impossible. Every bridge seems burned, every obstacle too big, all your baggage, too heavy. None of that is right though, because it's all about your definition. If you define something as impossible, it is. You will never be able to overcome it, work around it, get by it, get over it, live with it. You've defined it as a limit. Something that can stop you from continuing. If you've defined it as impossible and it stops you.
Do you understand what that means?
You're holding yourself back. You're creating the impossible. You have created your own limit. You have created an impossibility. Your life is impeded by your own self-doubt and self-value.

What the heck man! Why are you stopping yourself? When you look at something and tell yourself it can't be done, it won't be done, you've just stopped yourself from possibly doing something incredible, something amazing, something LIFE CHANGING! Let's say you want to give up everything where you live and move overseas. Start fresh, start new, see the world. Do it. Sure, it's a huge task that takes a lot of planning, time and money. But you know what? IF you wanna do it? You freaking do it. It's not impossible, everything is possible. It only becomes impossible when you say it does.


Indispensable.
Indispensable is something that is absolutely necessary or essential. Again, there is nothing in your life that fits this category. There is nothing that you absolutely cannot live with out. You don't need a house. You don't need a car. You don't need to go to europe. You don't need a chihuahua. You don't need make up. You don't need clothes. You need nothing. You decide what your life contains and once you decide that, you can decide what you define as an indispensable thing. The things you should be assigning to that category are things that if you lost, you would want to die. Life would seem absolutely worth not living without those things. If your car gets stolen, not that big of a deal. You can buy a new car. It shouldn't be things you can buy or material possessions. The truly indispensable things. You know what they are. If you don't, shit you need to sort your priorities. If you've had those things taken from you, whether it's for good or only a short time, god I hope you appreciate them. Cling to them, nurture them, be nice to them, forgive them, love them. If you're lucky enough to have never felt the hurt of losing something or everything you class as indispensable then take it from me and the rest of us when I say it hurts. You never feel more close to death than when you have nothing to live for.


Intolerable.
We all know that one person who shits us so much that one day you think you might just snap and drive the nearest object through their forehead. Intolerable right? Wrong. Whether someones a dickhead, an asshole, rude, pretentious, moronic, a royal pain in your ass or maybe all of the above they're still not intolerable. Unfortunately for you, there's about seven billion people on this planet. So your opinion of someone, your attitude towards them is a grain of sand on the longest beach in the universe. So that means the it's up to you to change your attitude and change isn't as hard or as scary as people make it out to be. You just have to be prepared for it all the time. Realize that you are constantly changing and you are never the same person for two seconds. As your mind ticks over and you consider the questions of life, questions of the day, considering different options, different decisions, you are changing. You are growing. Take something intolerable and consider every element of it. You will find one, if not several, great qualities. If it's a person you need to remember all of the shit baggage you have stored away that you never ever ever want to let out for everyone. How do you know they don't have the same? Worse? You don't. Everyone you meet, before you judge them consider your own baggage, all of your shit, all of your secrets, all of your crap experiences that created a bad side of you that you don't like and put that into them. Make them you. They have all your shit. Your life is theirs. When you meet them, when you greet them, when you hate them, when you try to avoid them consider who you've now made them. You know all of their baggage, all their ins and outs, what makes them exactly who they are. You wouldn't judge so harshly now would you? You'd tolerate them, hell you'd probably feel for them. No longer intolerable. You are as much intolerable to other people as they are to you, remember that.

Bad things.

In your life, I can guarantee lots of bad things will happen. A lot. Whether you deserve them or not. They're going to happen.

There is something you can learn from everything. The good times and the bad times. Just like before, in order for good to exist, so does evil. In order for good things to be classed as 'good' there has to be a 'non-good'. If we don't have the 'non-good/bad' we don't really appreciate the good and that's a big deal.

The slightest good things should always outweigh the worst bad things. The amount of good things that happen to you every day that you don't realize is ridiculous. You NEED to take pleasure in the small things to survive in this world. Waking up, knowing you can get out of bed without help, BIG DEAL.
You just got out of bed, that means you have a bed, BIG DEAL. You have a bed, fair chance it's inside a house, that means you have a house, BIG DEAL. You woke up, that means you can afford either an alarm clock or a phone, BIG DEAL. Your phone didn't die overnight because you charged it, you have electricity, BIG DEAL.

You have only just opened your eyes, not even moved a muscle yet and 5 good things have already happened around you. FIVE! And your day hasn't even begun yet. In the next lets say, one hour most of these things will happen to.
You will have breakfast, shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on clothes, put on shoes, put on sunnies, listen to music, get in your car, use fuel, use electricity. That is only the tip of the metaphorical iceberg. It's been one hour and we're at a very rough total of 17 good things. Surely you cannot have a bad day, look at how much good surrounds you!

My sister is a patisserie chef. She loves baking cakes, muffins and all those sorts of delicious things. She said to me once, in relation to this topic, "When I wake up in the morning, go into the kitchen and open the fridge and there's a cake, I'm like 'Fuck yeh, it's gunna be a good day'" That's not to say if there isn't a cake she'll have a bad day, it just goes to show how you can take pleasure in the smallest and simplest things. It is absolutely essential to lead a happy life and she is proof because she is one of the most optimistic, happiest and positive people I have ever met in my life. She is a constant reminder to me to take joy from the little things.

You know what I really hate? Spoiled kids. Kids that have been given everything their entire life and have no appreciation for anything. When they want something, they get it. When something goes wrong, daddy fixes it. Don't get me wrong, it shows a massive love from parents to child but the amount it cripples them in the real world is catastrophic. When bad things happen or they do something wrong and there is no consequence or make-up for error. How do you ever learn? You never learn to appreciate the things that are important. Common things are simply not good enough. As terrible as it will sound, bad things need to happen to these kids and usually something does. Something that makes them question everything and realize how simple, quickly and easily things are lost. Even life. I think there are large defining moments in everyones life. I think for people like this, the moment they are taught to question EVERYTHING, their life changes forever. In a good way.

From all the bad things that happen, in order to move on you NEED to draw a positive from them. If you fail to see even the tinest positive, there is something wrong and you are far too cynical. I'm going to give you an example from my own life. I dated this girl, Chloe. For almost a year. Within that year, I managed to push away and fight with all my friends, disconnect from my family, become drastically unhappy, life a false life and donate absolutely everything, every ounce of attention, every cent and every shred of dignity I had to her. In a year I changed completely from who I was, I look back now and I absolutely detest and hate myself for who I was. I treated everyone around me like shit, did some bad things and was everything I didn't want to be. When it all finally came to an end, it almost killed me. It almost killed her too. I had taken a girl with a lot of issues, torments and bad life experiences and tried to 'fix' her without knowing. I had achieved my unknown goal, somewhat. Unfortunately along the way I had lost myself quite deeply. Somewhere in amongst all the fights, lies and unhappiness was the person I used to be. He was dead. He was long dead with no chance of revival. As you do with most break-ups, I sat at home and decided to be depressed. For a while.

I am incredibly lucky in life. I have managed to be born into the most incredible and amazing family. The love and support I received from them, was beyond incredible. I made good friend decisions in life, so the mates I surround myself with are just as incredible and fantastic. After many break downs, spilling everything to my parents, nights spent at the river talking with a mate, going out on boys nights, seeing my best girl friend and being given the right advice I got better. I didn't recover who I was. I wasn't the same person anymore. I like to think I went through the shit and somehow I managed to come out on top. With a new outlook on life and appreciation for everything. The best thing was a new happiness and an inability for sadness.


I went through a stage where I told myself I hated her. That she ruined my life. That she had killed who I was as a person. That I would never be the same again and I'm not. I'm better. I don't know if our relationship helped her at all. But strangely enough at the end of all of it, I'm glad it happened. I am glad I spent a year like that. I am glad I had a really really shit time and a really bad experience. I look at it as, if it hadn't happened I wouldn't be who I am now, doing what I do now, knowing who I know now. So I guess the right thing to say is, thankyou. It's a weird thing to say to an ex-girlfriend but I truly mean it when I say thankyou. The things I have learned, the person I have become is all thanks to you and I owe you that much.



So that's my story. I know you've got your own. Nothing is a bad experience, nothing is pointless. Everything has a purpose, meaning or maybe just something to teach you to grow. Never ever look back on something as 'bad'. Consider it a 'growing period' until you could come out better afterwards. Take happiness from the smallest things, there is millions. When you find something big that gives you plenty of happiness. Cling to it, never let it go. These things are beyond priceless.

The Eternal 'What If'

With every decision you make in your life, there is the always lingering, always nagging, always second-guessing 'what if',
When you choose option A, what if option B was better?
When you go left, what if you went right?
When you eat this, what if you ate that?
When you pick her, what if you picked her?
When you drive this, what if you drove that?
When you say no, what if you said yes?
When you went to maccas, what if you went to hungry jacks?
When you watched star wars categorically, what if you watched them by year of release date?


My point is, EVERY decision had a 'what if'. Even the tiny ones, if there's a yes, then there is always a no. It's like in order for there to be good, there has to be evil. Not trying to say the 'what if' is evil, it's a good thing actually. The beauty of 'what if' is it keeps your head thinking, considering, planning, plotting, deciding. When you do something that you have no choice in, it's not scary, it's not fun.
This is what you are doing. Do it. Your response is: Ok.
or, consider..
You can do this, OR you can do THIS!
Your response: This! No this! Wait, maybe this! Or perhaps this!
Your mind is now in mass overload trying to decide the better decision. Trying to work out all possible ends and outcomes from both decisions. Trying to work out which is going to better you in the long or short run. Weighing up advantages to disadvantages, pro's to con's, benefits to hindrances. After all of this thought and re-thought, you still haven't decided. In a single second, your mind re-runs this process about 5.8 billion times and then plays eney, meeney, miney, mo. We like to think we control the decisions we make, but we really don't.


There is so many parts of us that all take a share in our decision and pre-thought process. You, start making a decision, just you. A party in a big empty house. Then people slowly start rocking up to your party. Indecisiveness stands by the bar, trying to decide between a vodka martini and a scotch. Rationality arrives in his best suit and takes a seat to the side of the dance floor. Pro turns up, with a very drunken unable to stand con hanging off his arm. Prioritization turns up to DJ and starts playing songs alphabetically by artist last name. Sex drive arrives, in her brand new supre dress that doesn't leave much to the imagination. Impulsiveness throws open the door, grabs a scotch and heads straight to the dance floor with sex drive. So you've now got this rocking, mental party going on in your mind.

Did you invite any of these people? No.
Is it all necessary they be there? Yes.
Are they all going to get smashed, have a massive fight and whoever is left standing at the end wins? No. There's still more to come.

Happy 'What If' party!  All the thoughts and ideas that run through your mind when making a decision have turned up, just for you! Except one. So let's take an example decision. You are walking through a spooky forest at night. You look down at your watch, it reads ten minutes to midnight. You see a glowing light off in the distance. You wonder what if could be, should you go after it? No, you decide. (You win this round, rationality) But suddenly you stop yourself. A question has occurred to you. What if you didn't go home and you did chase the light? What if?

That is the one question that fucks with your head. The worst part is it's not one question, it's a doorway to millions of questions and possibilities. This is why, so often impulsiveness then takes over from rationality. Because of 'what if'! If you hadn't asked yourself that silly, silly question you would be on your way home, not wondering if there is wolves on your walk to this light, or what awaits you at the light, or if there is someone by the light, or if it is a light at a house. ANY POSSIBILITY, excites you. Once the 'what if' question is asked, you are now on an adventure. However insignificant or not, you're on one. Whether you want to be or not, you are son.

I'm sure by this point you are starting to realize all the things you hadn't beforehand and you now hate me for. BUT 'what if' is good. It keeps you alive, on your toes, on a cliff face, on the side of a volcano, naked, upside down and you have no idea why the fuck. But WHAT IF YOU HADN'T! Life's decision are not always easy. They're not supposed to be. Life without challenge, is hardly life. You don't grow, change or gain anything. Adding 'what if' makes it even harder and I LOVE that.

I don't care what situation you're in. Whether you are trying to decide over,
A job,
A car,
A girl,
A house,
Breakfast,
Your favourite colour,
What to get your mum for mother's day,
Whether or not your should spend your weekend doing your maths assignment full well knowing you will be up all hours of the night before cursing yourself for not doing it.

It doesn't matter! Add 'what if' to it. It sucks! And that's awesome! At the end of the day whatever decision you make 'what if' is all bullshit and all fake.

You only get one shot at this life, so once you have made your decision FORGET 'what if'. If you consider and wonder afterwards, you are going to kill yourself. Imagining all the fucks-ups you could never have made, the people you could have not pissed off, the girls you could have won over, the car you might not have crashed. These are bad thoughts. Whether you believe in fate or not, there is a reason you made the decision you made. People are often irrational, but never entirely. Even if you don't know it, there is a reason you chose what you did. Maybe your house burned down because otherwise you never would have moved to europe two years later. Maybe she said no to marrying you so you could meet your dream girl a couple of years later. Maybe you missed that bus, because you were meant to meet that person on the bus. WHO KNOWS! I don't, but I can assure you that there is a reason for every decision you make. Life is not a random gathering of people, doing random things in random ways in random places. Somehow, somewhere there is a plan. However loose or unscripted this plan is. It's there. Things happen for a reason, believe it. It makes the painful decisions a lot easier.

Swap-want

The things you want in life, in your own mind, sometimes manage to outweigh the things you need. If you set your mind to believing that you want something badly enough you will believe you need it. Need it more than the things you actually do need. You meet a girl, you hang out, you stay up the whole night talking and you know that you've got to be up at 5:30 for work but for some strange reason you feel compelled to stay up with this girl. You tell yourself sleep is not important, that you don't need it. Right now you NEED to stay up and hang out with this girl. Who knows you might not get tomorrow.

This is a feeling. A feeling that we do not have a name for. The feeling of wanting something so badly you swap your wants for needs and your needs for wants. This feeling is now known as swap-want.

Swap-want usually occurs in a situation of mass desire. When you want something so so so badly. You can only trick your mind that badly if you want something that badly. If swap-want occurs it is usually a good thing and you should probably just roll with it. It shows exactly how badly you want something and what you are willing to do for it. Ditching a 'need' for a 'want' is a big deal. When you hit the swap-want level just give up fighting yourself right there, you've already lost the battle. The next day/morning/hour later/week later/ whatever you are either going to think one of two things.

A. Your swap-want was good. The missing and unattended to 'need' is fine and you'll recover eventually and the converted 'want' is now a need or will forever manifest itself in your mind as if it was a need.

B. The swap-want was bad. You are angry at yourself for letting you be so stupid as to get tricked by you. The former need is now an ever bigger need and the want is now not even worth thinking about because you've lost that much time over it already.

Whatever the outcome, the swap-want won. Congratulations, sir.
Swap-want - 1 You - 0
Actually I'm fairy sure it would have a much higher score than 1 but whatever. The point is that it wins every time. Good outcome, bad outcome, it is always the outcome.

You need swap-wants though. They keep your life interesting, keep you doing crazy things, get you away from the normal every day shit and doing something different from what you would normally do and that's good!


In all honesty, you've probably never even noticed swap-wants before because you don't over-analyze absolutely everything however significant or insignificant in your daily life like I do. The next time you do though, you will notice and be like 'holy cow, that prick was right' and we all know how much I love to be right. If you ever find yourself asking yourself 'do I really want something? Am I really willing to fight for this? Would I make sacrifices for this?' then look back and think if you've ever done a swap-want for it. If you have, then there's your answer, you want it and you want it bad. You sacrificed a legitimate need-to-live-need for something that you at the time thought you just 'wanted'. We both now know that you more than just wanted it.


Swap-want is really just a need in disguise. You just don't know you need it yet.

Lessons.

So it's 2012 and what have I learned? Well, a lot.


Life.
I can't comment on your life. I can't tell you how good or bad it is. I can give you my opinion and that's it. Life is what you make it out to be.
If you want to be something, be it.
If you want to do something, do it.
If you want to find something, find it.
If you want to change something, change it.
It's really that simple. You can argue all you want that life is hard and it's fucked and I can't be bothered. But that's all bullshit. If you're reading this, chances are you have a computer. If you've got a computer you're doing pretty bloody well compared to people in third world countries. Whenever life get's you down you have to remember that your life could always be worse. Whatever is happening to you right now that's so bad, could be 100 times worse. So be grateful that it isn't that way and that it's only as bad as it is.

I cut my foot, oh shit. I cut my foot off, OH SHIT.

I don't necessarily know you or anything about you for that matter but I can promise you that you have a good life. You have people that love you immensely and people that are interested by you and want to get to know you. You are never truly alone in this life. You are only alone if you force yourself to be. If you choose to deliberately push everyone around you, then that's the only time you will ever be alone. Try and avoid doing that.


Sorry.
I have said 'sorry' more times in 2011 then I ever have in my entire life previously. Did I stuff up a lot?
Yeh, probably.
Do people push to hard and make you give in for things you didn't really do?
Yeh, probably.
The thing here is that it doesn't matter how many times you say sorry, if you want to make something better you'll say it as many times as you have to. If you don't care and you want to lose people, then you won't bother. If you're on the other end of things, you need to say 'It's ok, don't worry about it'. Every time. Every freaking time. You know why?

Because this life is so short and so precious that we don't have time to hate, to hold grudges, to have fights, to argue and bicker and be unhappy. You only have time to laugh, love and be happy. Everything else is your choice.

Why be angry at someone when you can get over it and be happy instead? Yes, they fucked up. But as if you haven't? Just as many times, if not more than them. That's not fair. Forget and let live. Move past things that are not important, that are not worth your time. Get on with your life.


You.
I have learnt the hard way that sometimes you have to do things for you. You have to ignore people and do what's right for you. If you're anything like me, you like to help people. It is so mentally hard to try and ignore someone else’s feelings to put yours first. If someone is clinging to you and using you for all your amazing qualities and giving nothing back, they are drowning you. You need to keep your head above water. You can't forget how you feel and let someone drown you. Once you drown, it's freaking hard to try and surface again. I'm not saying stuff everyone else, do what you have to do. I'm trying to say you can't give everything to everyone and you need to accept that. When you NEED to take time for you, or do something for you then that's what you do. If you're in a relationship that's killing you, then you need to let go. You can't be everything for someone. No matter how hard you try or how much you do. You will never be someone’s everything.


Fix.
I like to invent things and fix things, it's in my nature. You sometimes have to realize though that you can't always fix things. Some things are just too far gone or just broken, perhaps they need more than your knowledge to fix them, perhaps they are just irreparable. You need to learn when to stop and give up wasting time trying to fix things that are not your job or that are out of your power. I bet you are an amazing person and you have a million amazing qualities but you are restricted just like everyone else. Sometimes you need other people to help you. You don't have to do everything on your own, or by yourself. You can call on help and fix things together. Just like with a relationship, you can't be in it to fix someone. You're not doing them any favors, you're making them dependant on you. When you think you've fixed them and you try to leave, you'll only make things worse. All you can do is pray that all the things you did for them, they remember and take away with them into their life. That they try to grow up and they try to use the knowledge you gave them.


Exception.
Always, always, always be the exception to the rule. Do not be afraid to be different. Never do something just because or because everyone else did it or it's just the done thing. Fuck that. Do what you want in life. Never worry about what other people think. You are your own person and you need to be happy with yourself before other people will like you. If you pretend to be something or someone you're not then people won't really like you for who YOU are. They'll like you for how good of an actor you are instead. They will never truly know the real you and if you do it long enough you'll even forget who that is. Never lose sight of yourself or of what you want. Life is an amazing gift, better than anything else you will ever be given. Make good use of the best present you will ever get.



Take a risk.
Do things for yourself.
Apologize.
Accept.
Move forward.
Give up.
Don't give up.
Don't stop living.
Be yourself.
And always, without a doubt, undoubtedly, undeniably, unquestionably, indisputably, constantly,
Love.

Want.

Whatever you want in life, go get it. Don't waste your whole life waiting for something that you think you want, you might want. If you want it regardless of all other factors and everything else go get it.

Life is far too short for you to waste time pondering whether or not you want to something. Don't make excuses, don't lie to people, don't lie to yourself.
If you want something badly enough, get up off your fat ass and do it. Otherwise in life you're gunna go nowhere and that's the harsh truth. If you're not prepared to make sacrifices and change things, because you want something. Then you're pathetic. Do it.

If you wanna lose weight, do it.
If you wanna buy a house, do it.
If you wanna change your life, do it.
If you want someone badly enough, go get them.

Sometimes, yes, it is hard to know what we really want. Humans are a cauldron of confusing emotions that don't understand each other and we're expected to understand them. But that's life. You do your best to know yourself and work out what you really want. You've gotta sort your mind out and work out whats most important to you. Prioritize what you want. Work out what you want most on your life. And then guess what?

You go get it.

If you really want it that bad.Then you'll do what you have to, to go get it. If you don't then you won't. Either you didn't really want it that much or you're scared to really try and get it. Why are you scared of something you want? Don't be scared. It should be excitement rather than fear. You're scared of life otherwise. Scared of change.

That's really sad. You should embrace every part of life with an excited attitude. You never know what could happen next, be excited. Life is an adventure and it's your adventure. So live it and own it. Make your decisions, make your ideas, make your life how you want it to be. If you really want it. You'll do it.

Don't hurt people along the way. Your decisions will almost ultimately affect people. Try not to hurt people please, that shits not cool. It's hard to weigh up whether or not what you want is fair to hurt someone else. I suppose in some cases, it might be. The person might be unfair. If you're in a relationship you're unhappy in, you shouldn't stay in it because you don't want to hurt the other person. That's not fair on either of you.

You can do anything you want. You can have anything you want. You can be anyone you want. So go do it. Everyone is amazing and has amazing talents. Use them to get what you want. There is a want in everyone for something. No matter how deep. If it'll take you 50 years or 30 seconds. If you really want it then,

Go.
Get.
It.

New Doors.

I love this. 'When one door closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.'

It's so ridiculously true. So many times in life you have something and for whatever reason it ends or disappears. That's a door closing. Sometimes we seem to struggle to grasp the concept that something is finished or over. We cling to it as if it's not ended in the hope it'll re-open. It's really an unfortunate thing. Like the quote says, a new door opens and we don't see it.

So a door's closed in your face. You're upset, you stand head against the door crying. But you don't turn around! There's a new door open behind you. Shock horror! You turn and see the door and what do you do? That's your big decision. Do you try and move forwards through the new door? Or do you cling to the door you're at praying it'll re-open.

I don't think there's a right answer there really. I'd like to say that the right answer is turn around and sprint through that door as fast as you can and don't look back. But maybe it's not the right answer? I can't tell you!

I'm assuming most people will read this and assume it's about relationships. But not really. Yes it does have a lot to do with relationships but it's the same in any aspect of life really. Losing something and not realizing there is something newer waiting for you. It really is hard though, when you've got something that you know,
You're comfortable with,
You think it's easy,
You like it,
But when it ups and leaves. What have you got then? Well to be perfectly harsh. Nothing.

Relationships, they end. We all know they do. Nothing is forever right? Wrong. It is what you make it. You control it. Well, that two of you do. Break-up's are hard, I know. But you never know who might pop up out of the blue. If you break up with someone or they break up with you, everything happens for a reason. IF you break up, then it was never meant to be. But with relationships you've got to go through all the shitty doors first before you find that one door, that's perfect for you. Everything happens for a reason, everything. There is something better out there for you.

There is always ALWAYS a new door waiting for you. Sometimes you might even have to open it, sounds like a lot of effort, I know. A door is an opportunity, for you, for your life. Why not take it?

You might have to open doors.
You might go through some wrong doors? Bad doors maybe?
You might be scared to go through some doors.
YOU might even have to find some doors.

But when you find them, open them, or are scared of them. Say Fuck it. Run 100 mile an hour through that door, you never know what is on the other side and you know what?

That's the greatest part of all. It's so exciting. That's life for you. You never really know what's coming or what's next. Everything is so unpredictable, it's brilliant. People do as they want, change when they want. Nature does what it wants. Some might say that's a scary thought and I guess yeh it kind of is. But look at the other side of it. It's so exhilarating. Every day should both excite and inspire you. Even if things are really shit in your life and you think you won't recover from something, you know you can. You never know whats coming next.

Don't plan your life. Don't not do things because of a plan. Live your life how you want. It's your life, so yeh it's about you. It's your story, write it and make it a damn good story.

Strength.

Strength takes on all sorts of different forms.
You can be just a general strong person.
You can be physically strong.
You can be attractive, because you're strong.
You can have strong morals.
You can be strong-willed.
They're all 'can' because you can be any you wish to be. It's up to you. You choose your own path.

Strong people.
Such huge admiration flows from everyone to strong people. People who have guts, people who have courage, people who are brave. If you manage to be any of the last 3, any of the time, you're doing well. We admire strong people, we look up to them. They're the people who get things done, help out, whatever they need. Strong people are the best form of motivation, when someone has the potential to do something great. When you're in a shitty time or place and you need just a friend or someone to talk to you always seem to call on a person who is strong. Someone who can help you out and knows what to do and if they don't they sure as hell can pretend to. The strong people we know, who we never seem to give enough credit to just for being them. You've got no idea what anyone else does when you're not around and if they're a good person, you can guarantee it's something good. Always assume the best.

Strong People
Strong people are sexy. People who can manage to stand on their own two feet without any support from anyone. A person who is independent, in control and .. strong. I don't mean physically strong people, who really gives a shit. If you're with someone because you think they're attractive but you can't stand them the rest of the time, you're a massive massive twat. Weak people are just hard to be around, they're depressive at best. Everyone can be a strong person, it's about willingness to do so. If you have no ambition to better yourself or change yourself, I can only ask why not? I don't mean conform to the norm. I mean change for the better, work to improve yourself as much as you can. It's a huge challenge, but if you're a strong person you'll try it. You'll be glad you did. When you meet someone for the first time, if they were shy, didn't talk much, kept to themselves and were just weak would you want to be round them much longer? Or would you rather meet someone who is willing to say 'hello' to someone they've never met, talk to them and make a new friend in someone great? I know what I'd choose. Strong people are awesome, they're the best. No way round it.

Strong Morals
In your life you will meet people who just have their head in the right place. They know exactly what's going on and exactly what the right choice is. They know their right from wrong. These people are amazing, one in a million. Unless you are one of these people, you're faced with the touch decision every day of what's right and what's wrong. Sometimes it's a mighty fine line. Some of the hardest decisions are whether to benefit yourself or someone else. Or to benefit someone you know or someone you don't. You usually know which one deserves it more but it's all about self-gratification. Don't let it be. Think of the person who deserves it most, whatever 'it' is. The decision, though, is always tough. The ones you have to make on the spot and the ones you can go away and think about. It's tough because, it's either right or it's wrong. Luckily thought, not all the time. Sometimes you get lucky and it's an easy decision that doesn't affect one way or the other. When you're faced with a lot of hard decisions remember that even if you do make the wrong decision, "Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions."


So be strong. Keep your chin up, even in the worst of times. Put on your brave face and be the strong one everyone looks to.


The Ability to Let Go
When one door closes and another opens, sometimes we dwell too much on the closed door to even see the open one in front of us. When the things we want, had, loved, are gone we tend to dwell on them too long. Grief is a part of life, granted. But when things change, the glass is half-full. You lose something, you move forward and look for something better. It'll never replace what you had, but it's something new to appreciate. Change is good, all things change, nothing is extinguished.

I'll leave you with these three as something to take away.


Anatole France - One must never lose time in vainly regretting the past or in complaining against the changes which cause us discomfort, for change is the essence of life.

Life is easier than you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

The summary.

I feel in a bit of an inspirational mood and I haven't blogged in a while so I figured it best if I did another. With the end of another year coming round I felt as though I needed to do a bit of a summary of the year and it's ins and outs.


Worth
The big decision of is something 'worth it' or not. We find ourselves asking this question more times than is sensible and we always seem to know immediately the answer is yes but then we continue to ignore that we know the answer and seek consolation in others. Why? Just human nature I guess. Isn't it that your first instinct is always right though? Why not just live off that. Whatever you think, you do. Whatever you do, you become. Whatever you become, will be great. It's a huge leap really, to try and trust yourself when so often we seem to stuff up some of the most simple things. But faith in yourself really can go a long way. Not just for you, but for others too.

Do it.
My best mate and I have thing saying which is our push point. If one of us is too scared to do something well then, "you only live once". After getting back in the car after buying red rooster from a very cute checkout chick, the question was thrown out if he should go back and get her number. My response was, "You only live once" Really, a dumb move on my part because now he uses it against me anytime I don't want to do anything. It is really such a great pressure point though. Not just with girls, but with anything in life that you're a little scared of. Fair chance that anything that involves a bit of risk, is scary. That's what makes a risk, a risk. Life is far too short to be worrying about risks. Fuck risks. Stop thinking, start doing. If you make it out the other side, alive, even if you are slightly damaged that's a win in my books. Take away the knowledge, experience, memories and forget the rest.

Regret
Such an ugly word. Such a shitty word. In your life, you should have zero regrets. But really the chances of that happening are next to nothing. You will have some regrets. If you don't then you're amazing and you really do deserve a medal. Having regrets is normal, just so long as you don't have any huge ones. When life offers you a huge chance, a huge possibility TAKE IT. For god's sake. It might not be the best, but it's a chance to do something! When you get offered a chance or an experience just think to yourself, if I say no, how much will I regret this? How much? Pissed off tomorrow? Or really really really reaaaallyy pissed off on my death bed?

The Importance of the Smallest Things
We don't always notice how important some of the smallest things are. Not always to us, but to other people. Sometime to people we don't even know. I'm not going to go into any depth other than the fact that sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference. It's the butterfly effect. Be conscious of your choices and decisions.

Shit.
There are times in life when everything is just shit. Your partners shit, your family's shit, and everything else, also turns to shit. It sucks. But really there is nothing you can do. As hard as it it, you have to put on a brave face and keep going. Know that you're strong and you can get through anything. That brings me to the next point of people.

People
There are some amazing people in the world, some wicked wicked people. People that are just so cool and you love so much. But you have to have balance in the world. For all the awesome people there are just as many shit people. People you wish you had never met and avoid at all costs. You take the good with the bad though. Enjoy all the good times with the people you love and the times you're stuck with people you hate and treat you like shit. Forget them. Move on. Remember the good times. If you're one of those stupid stupid people who seem to surround yourself with wankers, stop. Seriously, hang out with dirt. Be treated like dirt.

Things you don't know
You can't know everything, despite how hard you try. Some things are even better if you don't know. But in regards to the things you don't know, always assume the best. The glass is always half full, never half empty. If you don't know the truth then it's up to your imagination in the meantime to work it out. So why not have it be good rather than bad?

Try
Try. Try again. Try try again. And again and again. Sometimes all you can think is why the fuck do I bother? But whatever your reason is for trying in the first place, is your reason to keep trying. Again and again. Things.. take time. Like say, relationships. Especially relationships. Holy shit is it frustrating sometimes, but the wait is always worth the end result. Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end yet.

Never
Never turn away a good chance.
Never say 'no' to anything because you're scared.
Never be scared.
Never give up.
Never let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do.
Never let life pass you by, lose chances or waste time because life is too short for any of that. Live your life as you want, enjoy it, ignore risks and take every bloody chance you get.

More of the same shit.

Repetitive. Frustrating.
Boring. Shit.
Same. Lame.
Again. No.

The same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Again and again and again and again and again and again. How do you do it? Why?

Because, it's just what you do. You fall off, you get back on the horse. Why? The horse is WILD. Well, it's your job to tame it. Get your ass back on it and go for gold. Try again. Till in the end you've either perfected it or, just not as shit as you were at the start. Any improvement, is still an improvement.

You're confused right? I've just talked more shit than my ass. But it's a reminder. A constant reminder. The most important things in life are easily forgotten and lost. Treasure them and remember them. You'll live a fuller live for it. I think. You've got to have some kind of plan, or strategy I guess to get through everyday. Like a philosophy.

What is your philosophy? What motto do you live by? What are those few words that help you get by in the hard times? Most people have a philosophy or two, that helps them get by day to day.

I feed off as many as I can, like a thing that.. feeds.. off stuff. Really unless you are an amazing philosopher, you're not going to have one that applies for every situation. I have my main 5, that I think I can apply to nearly all situations.

1. Fuck it, you only live once.
2. Who the hell cares what anyone else thinks? Just look into your heart and do whatever the hell makes you happy. (Why yes, this is from Scrubs.)
3. Live every moment, no regrets.
4. Seize the day.
5. Life is short, break the rules.

While they're all different (and super tacky), they all output the same underlying message really. Life is short, take every chance, seize every moment. I'm sure you'll end up with a fair few bruises, scratches, heartbreaks and let downs. But in the ends it's always worth it to say you had a crack at it, you gave it a go and you did it like a beast.

I don't know when I'll clock off this world, hopefully not too soon, but to die and say I regretted something? I'd be a very very unhappy person for eternity. You are given a chance, don't wimp out. If it's something that's hurt you, or let you down before. Like a relationship? You've got to try again, you CAN NOT give up, ever.
You get fired, you get a new job.
You crash your car, you buy a new one.
Your pet dies, you get a new one.
You got shot, you heal.
You get heartbroken? You heal, move one and try again.
You can't really say 'get a new one' because the others are all so materialistic. The last two are different.
Just promise me you'll never give up on things? Especially not on anyone? ESPECIALLY a mate. Always, pull through for your mates.

Really,
What's the point then? If you give up?
Why bother at all? Don't put in a half-ass, piss-weak effort.
Go hard or go home.


You always hear, that some people are 'strong' people. They're not really that amazing!
Well they are, but no more amazing that you are. Just try to use your full potential. It's hard, it really is. Sometime, you just don't have the effort and you don't give a shit. But 90% of the time, give it everything you've got and it'll pay off. I guarantee you. k?

The Most.

I thought about this one for a while. I was at work and I wrote down a series of random words, sayings and philosophies. I thought they'd be good topics. So here is a very disorganized and unstructured blog about the most important things I know and have learnt.

Do what YOU want to do.
Son: I want to fly a kite.
Father: Don't be silly, you'll lose the kite. The wing is much too strong!
Son: I will fly my kite and magical it will be!
The son flies his kite for hours, then loses it in the winds.
Father: I told you, silly boy.
Son: I've never had more fun flying my kite, all good things come to an end.

This kid, however fictional and made up to create a point, is a smart kid. He takes a risk with his kite. He knows, full well, that he may lose his kite. Regardless, he flies it and god damn it does he have a good time! He takes a risk and it pays off, for a while. Then it flops. He does the smart thing and looks on the bright side. Remembers the wicked time he had and knows that all good things come to and end and to treasure the memory. I really hope you're understanding the message in this because otherwise I might come across as a bit odd.
Beginnings + Endings.
Everything has a beginning and an ending. You may not agree that it's a good saying but it is truthful, 'All good things come to an end'. And not just good things, everything really. Everything ends, everything dies at some stage. As much as it sucks to thing about it, it shouldn't make you sad. It should empower and motivate you. People die, it is the impossible fact. Every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day, every day of every week you spend with them should be amazing. You should spend the time however you wish, but making sure not to waste a second of it. It really doesn't hit you, until you experience a death and it smacks you right in the face. On the day of my formal, when we were allowed to go home early, I went with another mate, to the funeral of a two year old boy. Nothing I have ever seen in my life, has stuck with me for so long and been such a constant reminder of how precious life is.
Happiness.
Is the best feeling. It should be felt, by everyone, everyday. There is time for sadness, granted, but happiness should never leave you. It's a sort of background emotion. It's covered by other emotions, but somehow it's always there. There are so many things in life that knock you down, piss you off, annoy you but you have to be as strong as you can be. Forget them, in the past. Gone, over it, done. You have no reason to be unhappy. You're alive, you're gorgeous and you're amazing. Smile dammit.
Simple Pleasures.
Life is so strange sometimes. The weirdest little things can sometimes make you the happiest. Treasure those things. People find happiness in so many different things, going for a run, eating food, playing Mario kart, WHATEVER. It really doesn't matter. It's your thing and if it makes you happy and you enjoy it then go for it.
Character.
I saw this on a friends facebook. I like it, a lot.
"The best thing about a picture
Is that it never changes
Even when the people in it do"
Everything you do defines who you are as a person and defines your character. Remember that.
Judgment.
It's such an obscure subject. We really shouldn't judge, but we can't help it. It's human nature. I suppose if anything, we should try to judge fairly. Take into account our own faults and failures before we judge others. Such a hard thing to do, so let's try and avoid it yeh?
Life, is far too short, Live like there is no tomorrow.
Time flies. Things happen before you know it. Things change like crazy. Life every moment, every second, everything fucking chance you get. Don't waste it. Don't be a fool. Someone's throwing you a line, take it.
The grass is greener.
Apparently, the grass is greener on the other side. Go figure? Stuff going to the otherside, I'm going to work my ass off and I'm going to make this place into glowing green pastures somehow.
Life, is whatever you make it out to be.
LIFE.
IS.
YOURS.
You have the power to do whatever you want.
You can be amazing if you try! No, you already are amazing.
You are wicked.
You are the best.
You are a champion.
You live here.
You live now.
You live today.
Go and live life, to the full.

No regrets, no looking back.



GO.

Believe.

There are defining moments in life.
Singular moments which can change everything.

In the blink of an eye.

Everything you know,
Can change.

This moment can make you,
or break you.

Define you,
or destroy you.

Craft you,
or kill you.

These amazing 'moments' creep up on us, always at an unwilling time. Never excepted, always out of the blue. Where are you? You're standing in the middle of the highway dodging cars, or at least that's how you feel anyway. Things are a mess, you don't know what to do and you're unsure of the outcome. How, how, ho,w how, HOW do you get through that?


Well that's entirely up to you to be honest. I strongly believe that good things come to those who wait. If you don't believe then you've got no hope at all. Believing is the key in life.

If you believe, then you can do anything. You can do anything.
Hey, you can do anything. Do you know what's cool? Doing anything. Always fun.

But really, if you put your mind to it and you try hard enough
You.
Can.
Do.
Anything!

Don't ever let anyone put you down or tell you otherwise. People are pathetic, tired of their own existence so they like to try and bring other people down and torture them. Be the better person, forgive and forget. No-one's perfect. God knows I'm not.

People seems to use the expression 'sweeping things under the rug' as a common expression. They make it out like it's always a bad thing. Sometimes, it's the best thing. One of my best mates, we get along no worries but we've had a few fights and arguments. You know what we've done every time? Said how we both feel about it, then we forget it. It makes sense. Why bother wasting time, losing mates over some of the pettiest stuff imaginable? Forget it, stop wasting time, Live life.

Anyway, back to believing. Belief is such a powerful word. I believe in you. It's just a really powerful word, you can't escape it. Believe.

I believe in karma.
I believe in justice.
I believe in equality.
I believe in truth.
I believe in love.

I'm bearing my soul here for you, be grateful. What do you believe in? Whatever it is, don't ever, ever forget it. Never stop believing because someone tells you to. Be a strong person. Believe whatever you wish and anyone quick to question you clearly jealous of your super strong personality. People are always impressed by a strong person. Strong people are empowering and inspiring.

Whenever you hear the story of a strong person who has done something amazing. You feel like you can do something amazing as well. Like you can have a huge impact on the world. Like you can make mass changes!

YOU CAN.

Believe in yourself. Don't look at those people and say 'wow'. Look at those people and say 'Fuck yeh, I can do that' Say it. Believe it. Do it.


I want to share this with you. This inspired me more than I can explain.
Dick and Rick Hoyt are a father-and-son team from Massachusetts who together compete just about continuously in marathon races. And if they're not in a marathon they are in a triathlon — that daunting, almost superhuman, combination of 26.2 miles of running, 112 miles of bicycling, and 2.4 miles of swimming. Together they have climbed mountains, and once trekked 3,735 miles across America.

Its a remarkable record of exertion — all the more so when you consider that Rick can't walk or talk.






How's that for perspective? When your life get's though. Think about that. You find your own motivation, your own inspiration. Go and live your life, no regrets. Just live.

Moment.

In each single, individual moment there are choices to be made. In all of them, every one. Most moments pass us by as insignificant useless ones, which some of them are but some are more important that you can ever imagine.

People talk of 'defining moments' or moments which define who you are as a person or character. All moments, every second of your life is defining you. Every choice you make, from the second you take your first breath of air. You are defining who you are.

Growing up, we've all heard something along the lines of what we do defines what kind of adult we become. Whats that to say we don't change? We can't change? No. We change constantly. You are never the same person. I'd say each day you wake up you are a different variation of the same person. However small, you are varied in some way. So you don't grow into being one person. You grow into a varying person.

Back to moments however. The moments that you share with others are the most crucial. The ones with your mates in particular. You make the wrong decision with a mate, just one, you can stuff up things endlessly. There are times, being human, when all you need is a mate to just be there and just be a mate. True mates, know you need them and they'll stand by you and be there. You might consider your mates true mates but when it really comes time for them to pull through, they don't. That is one of the most frustrating things in the world.

Then you get the people who aren't really all that close to you, but they can tell that you need a friend and they'll be there for you. Despite the fact your not very close with them at all. They are the real people to keep in your life. In the moment, they see the problem and see what needs to be done and they do it. The best kind of people. The mate to everyone.

Having an argument with someone. Crucial, crucial moments. If you say the wrong thing, they'll burn you. If you slip it to far, you lose a mate. Arguments suck, especially over petty little things. At the end of the day, if it's over nothing you need to step up. You need to be the bigger man, sort things out and apologize. It it always hard to admit you made a mistake or you stuffed up, but to admit fault is to accept your humanity. You're human, you make mistakes. Accept it, apologize and move on. If you really want to be the one to win an argument be the one to apologize. You have shown you can be the bigger man and admit fault. You win, well done.


In that moment you have to decide is arguing this really worth it? Or should I just take this on the chin and get over it. Get over it, for sure. so much easier and it's only petty anyway. So really, harden up, admit your faults you are a human and move along with it. Don't lost mates because of silly things. You can never have too many mates, collect them like kinder suprises.

Fear.

Fear. I made this blog one day and it has sat and sat, untouched as a 'draft'.
I've started a few times, so it hasn't really sat untouched. Rarely touched. I guess it's a topic that should be talked about but I just never did. Ironic.

Moving along. A friend referenced my wild tangents in blogging the other day, I'll try to stay on track. So,
Fear - be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event.

Key words? Possible and Probable. When you think of fear, you think of a moment when you have been scared. Think, well a bad outcome is only probable or possible, not definite.

Fear really coincides with chance. You might not take a chance because you fear the outcomes. OR "feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event", to be dictionarilly correct. But really, how silly is that? You're going to throw away a chance, a possible once in a lifetime chance because you're scared?

You.
Are.
Pathetic.

But then again, I suppose you're human. You're off the hook. Everyone is scared of something, however small. Things people are scared of starting with the letter I...
- Igloo
- Ice skating
- Immigrants
- Incense
- Infants
- Insignificance

People talk about fear as sometimes being a irrational fear. If there can be irrational fears, how can their be rational fears? What kind of a fear is rational, really? Admittedly, fears are fears because of their outcomes. You get bitten by a spider, yes, bad things happens. You fall down a cliff, even worse things happen.

Back it up? Famous quote:
A life lived in fear, isn't really a life worth living.

If you go day in, day out scared, worried, in fear of possible outcomes; not even certain fates. How do you get by each day? Shitting bricks every moment, that's how.

You are an amazing person, people love you.
You live an amazing life everyday.
You are gifted in more ways than you know.

What's there to be afraid of? Use what you've been given, live every moment. Do. Not. Be. Scared. In fear, where can you go? Nowhere. The key to change... is to let go of fear.

If we don't change, we don't grow and if we don't grow well... we aren't really living. Fear, should not exist in your life. Fear should not control your life. Fear is a pathetic thing, a useless emotion. Discard it. I don't know what you believe happens after death, but right now you can be sure you've got this life for sure. USE IT. You've been given so many great things, opportunities and so many amazing people, you have no reason or excuse to be scared of anything whatsoever.

If you've read this blog and taken nothing from it, which I reeeeaaally hope you have. Then take this, remember this, write it down somewhere if you so wish and live by it.

Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever in a hundred million years.

So, recap. What is fear again?

Fear is,
A useless emotion,
A pathetic excuse,
A waste of time,
And fear is,




Non-Existent.