The Eternal 'What If'

With every decision you make in your life, there is the always lingering, always nagging, always second-guessing 'what if',
When you choose option A, what if option B was better?
When you go left, what if you went right?
When you eat this, what if you ate that?
When you pick her, what if you picked her?
When you drive this, what if you drove that?
When you say no, what if you said yes?
When you went to maccas, what if you went to hungry jacks?
When you watched star wars categorically, what if you watched them by year of release date?


My point is, EVERY decision had a 'what if'. Even the tiny ones, if there's a yes, then there is always a no. It's like in order for there to be good, there has to be evil. Not trying to say the 'what if' is evil, it's a good thing actually. The beauty of 'what if' is it keeps your head thinking, considering, planning, plotting, deciding. When you do something that you have no choice in, it's not scary, it's not fun.
This is what you are doing. Do it. Your response is: Ok.
or, consider..
You can do this, OR you can do THIS!
Your response: This! No this! Wait, maybe this! Or perhaps this!
Your mind is now in mass overload trying to decide the better decision. Trying to work out all possible ends and outcomes from both decisions. Trying to work out which is going to better you in the long or short run. Weighing up advantages to disadvantages, pro's to con's, benefits to hindrances. After all of this thought and re-thought, you still haven't decided. In a single second, your mind re-runs this process about 5.8 billion times and then plays eney, meeney, miney, mo. We like to think we control the decisions we make, but we really don't.


There is so many parts of us that all take a share in our decision and pre-thought process. You, start making a decision, just you. A party in a big empty house. Then people slowly start rocking up to your party. Indecisiveness stands by the bar, trying to decide between a vodka martini and a scotch. Rationality arrives in his best suit and takes a seat to the side of the dance floor. Pro turns up, with a very drunken unable to stand con hanging off his arm. Prioritization turns up to DJ and starts playing songs alphabetically by artist last name. Sex drive arrives, in her brand new supre dress that doesn't leave much to the imagination. Impulsiveness throws open the door, grabs a scotch and heads straight to the dance floor with sex drive. So you've now got this rocking, mental party going on in your mind.

Did you invite any of these people? No.
Is it all necessary they be there? Yes.
Are they all going to get smashed, have a massive fight and whoever is left standing at the end wins? No. There's still more to come.

Happy 'What If' party!  All the thoughts and ideas that run through your mind when making a decision have turned up, just for you! Except one. So let's take an example decision. You are walking through a spooky forest at night. You look down at your watch, it reads ten minutes to midnight. You see a glowing light off in the distance. You wonder what if could be, should you go after it? No, you decide. (You win this round, rationality) But suddenly you stop yourself. A question has occurred to you. What if you didn't go home and you did chase the light? What if?

That is the one question that fucks with your head. The worst part is it's not one question, it's a doorway to millions of questions and possibilities. This is why, so often impulsiveness then takes over from rationality. Because of 'what if'! If you hadn't asked yourself that silly, silly question you would be on your way home, not wondering if there is wolves on your walk to this light, or what awaits you at the light, or if there is someone by the light, or if it is a light at a house. ANY POSSIBILITY, excites you. Once the 'what if' question is asked, you are now on an adventure. However insignificant or not, you're on one. Whether you want to be or not, you are son.

I'm sure by this point you are starting to realize all the things you hadn't beforehand and you now hate me for. BUT 'what if' is good. It keeps you alive, on your toes, on a cliff face, on the side of a volcano, naked, upside down and you have no idea why the fuck. But WHAT IF YOU HADN'T! Life's decision are not always easy. They're not supposed to be. Life without challenge, is hardly life. You don't grow, change or gain anything. Adding 'what if' makes it even harder and I LOVE that.

I don't care what situation you're in. Whether you are trying to decide over,
A job,
A car,
A girl,
A house,
Breakfast,
Your favourite colour,
What to get your mum for mother's day,
Whether or not your should spend your weekend doing your maths assignment full well knowing you will be up all hours of the night before cursing yourself for not doing it.

It doesn't matter! Add 'what if' to it. It sucks! And that's awesome! At the end of the day whatever decision you make 'what if' is all bullshit and all fake.

You only get one shot at this life, so once you have made your decision FORGET 'what if'. If you consider and wonder afterwards, you are going to kill yourself. Imagining all the fucks-ups you could never have made, the people you could have not pissed off, the girls you could have won over, the car you might not have crashed. These are bad thoughts. Whether you believe in fate or not, there is a reason you made the decision you made. People are often irrational, but never entirely. Even if you don't know it, there is a reason you chose what you did. Maybe your house burned down because otherwise you never would have moved to europe two years later. Maybe she said no to marrying you so you could meet your dream girl a couple of years later. Maybe you missed that bus, because you were meant to meet that person on the bus. WHO KNOWS! I don't, but I can assure you that there is a reason for every decision you make. Life is not a random gathering of people, doing random things in random ways in random places. Somehow, somewhere there is a plan. However loose or unscripted this plan is. It's there. Things happen for a reason, believe it. It makes the painful decisions a lot easier.