Four things.

I don't know what I want from life.

Well I do.

Just not right now. 

I know what I want from say when I'm 30 onwards. From now until then I have no idea. I'm led to believe in this time I'm supposed to do four things.

Step 1. Find the thing I love doing most.

Step 2. Find a way to get paid to do it.

Step 3. Find the woman of my dreams

Step 4. Marry the dreamy woman.

The problem is - were given all these expectations and things were 'supposed' to do - but not actually told exactly when or anything about them. 

The perfect job? Well that's up to you to decide.

The dreamy woman? Well she's the woman of your dreams, not everyone else's. Otherwise we'd all be chasing the same woman. 

As new generations are born, the 'rules' change. Not slightly and never really subtly either. Step back two generations to an 18 year old girl and she'd probably be prepping herself for marriage. Look at an 18 year old girl now, well marriage isn't on the cards for anytime soon. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, just that it's a thing. 

The changing of 'rules' between generations, actually works out quite well for us. The window of opportunity for each individual life element only expands. If you're not married by the time you're 21 not only is it not a big deal anymore it's a normal thing not to be. If you are married at 21 well congratulations and good on you. 

Despite the fact it is a good thing and me agreeing on that, it doesn't change the fact of how daunting it is. I'm constantly worried about making the wrong choice in life because great opportunities don't always come around that often and when they do you better damn sure you make good use of it and that means making the right decision. 

I know people say that when you meet 'the one' you just know and everything's all rainbows, fairy bread and eternal happiness. But I unfortunately must ask the question of what if I'm wrong? What if of the 6 billion people on the planet the one person I pick to be my one and only is the wrong one. Of 6 billion people, I call the odds at getting it wrong. 

I'm sure you instantly think that's a morbid, glass half empty way of looking at things. But I can't help but wonder about the mistakes I may have made and could possibly make. You can't say that I won't. But who am I to say that I will. I hope that when she comes along that I do just know and everything is all rainbows, fairy bread and eternal happiness. But in the meantime what am I supposed to do? Society says date, which is like a trial marriage. If you can do it for so long and everything is right then you continue. How am I supposed to know then if I do and it flows and seems alright, that it actually is? Is this another case where you just know? 

My point is this. How do I overcome the fear of making the wrong decisions in life that are making me too scared to even attempt to make the right decisions. 

Not just a question only applicable to this situation but to many. 

People often refer to a job as 'what you want to do in life'.

I currently am yet to find what I want to do in life. So in the meantime ill do what works, do what pays and do what keeps me interested. I don't find myself living to work at all. I find myself working to live. Work is merely a tool that allows me to live the life I really want to on weekends. I may never find exactly what I 'want to do in life' but I'm okay with that. I might find lots of little things that I like doing over my lifetime. If you live to work, that's great for you and I'm really glad you've found something so fantastic that when you wake up in the morning you just can't wait for the day to start. But for the rest of us who do the things that we need to do, or do what is available because nothing much interests us or just do a job because no matter how shit it is you take home a butt load of cash and some awesome holidays to spend that cash - we'll just do that. And that's okay. Because at the end of the day, if you're happy with what you're doing and what your life looks like standing in your shoes, then that's all that matters. It's your life, your call.