Bad things.

In your life, I can guarantee lots of bad things will happen. A lot. Whether you deserve them or not. They're going to happen.

There is something you can learn from everything. The good times and the bad times. Just like before, in order for good to exist, so does evil. In order for good things to be classed as 'good' there has to be a 'non-good'. If we don't have the 'non-good/bad' we don't really appreciate the good and that's a big deal.

The slightest good things should always outweigh the worst bad things. The amount of good things that happen to you every day that you don't realize is ridiculous. You NEED to take pleasure in the small things to survive in this world. Waking up, knowing you can get out of bed without help, BIG DEAL.
You just got out of bed, that means you have a bed, BIG DEAL. You have a bed, fair chance it's inside a house, that means you have a house, BIG DEAL. You woke up, that means you can afford either an alarm clock or a phone, BIG DEAL. Your phone didn't die overnight because you charged it, you have electricity, BIG DEAL.

You have only just opened your eyes, not even moved a muscle yet and 5 good things have already happened around you. FIVE! And your day hasn't even begun yet. In the next lets say, one hour most of these things will happen to.
You will have breakfast, shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on clothes, put on shoes, put on sunnies, listen to music, get in your car, use fuel, use electricity. That is only the tip of the metaphorical iceberg. It's been one hour and we're at a very rough total of 17 good things. Surely you cannot have a bad day, look at how much good surrounds you!

My sister is a patisserie chef. She loves baking cakes, muffins and all those sorts of delicious things. She said to me once, in relation to this topic, "When I wake up in the morning, go into the kitchen and open the fridge and there's a cake, I'm like 'Fuck yeh, it's gunna be a good day'" That's not to say if there isn't a cake she'll have a bad day, it just goes to show how you can take pleasure in the smallest and simplest things. It is absolutely essential to lead a happy life and she is proof because she is one of the most optimistic, happiest and positive people I have ever met in my life. She is a constant reminder to me to take joy from the little things.

You know what I really hate? Spoiled kids. Kids that have been given everything their entire life and have no appreciation for anything. When they want something, they get it. When something goes wrong, daddy fixes it. Don't get me wrong, it shows a massive love from parents to child but the amount it cripples them in the real world is catastrophic. When bad things happen or they do something wrong and there is no consequence or make-up for error. How do you ever learn? You never learn to appreciate the things that are important. Common things are simply not good enough. As terrible as it will sound, bad things need to happen to these kids and usually something does. Something that makes them question everything and realize how simple, quickly and easily things are lost. Even life. I think there are large defining moments in everyones life. I think for people like this, the moment they are taught to question EVERYTHING, their life changes forever. In a good way.

From all the bad things that happen, in order to move on you NEED to draw a positive from them. If you fail to see even the tinest positive, there is something wrong and you are far too cynical. I'm going to give you an example from my own life. I dated this girl, Chloe. For almost a year. Within that year, I managed to push away and fight with all my friends, disconnect from my family, become drastically unhappy, life a false life and donate absolutely everything, every ounce of attention, every cent and every shred of dignity I had to her. In a year I changed completely from who I was, I look back now and I absolutely detest and hate myself for who I was. I treated everyone around me like shit, did some bad things and was everything I didn't want to be. When it all finally came to an end, it almost killed me. It almost killed her too. I had taken a girl with a lot of issues, torments and bad life experiences and tried to 'fix' her without knowing. I had achieved my unknown goal, somewhat. Unfortunately along the way I had lost myself quite deeply. Somewhere in amongst all the fights, lies and unhappiness was the person I used to be. He was dead. He was long dead with no chance of revival. As you do with most break-ups, I sat at home and decided to be depressed. For a while.

I am incredibly lucky in life. I have managed to be born into the most incredible and amazing family. The love and support I received from them, was beyond incredible. I made good friend decisions in life, so the mates I surround myself with are just as incredible and fantastic. After many break downs, spilling everything to my parents, nights spent at the river talking with a mate, going out on boys nights, seeing my best girl friend and being given the right advice I got better. I didn't recover who I was. I wasn't the same person anymore. I like to think I went through the shit and somehow I managed to come out on top. With a new outlook on life and appreciation for everything. The best thing was a new happiness and an inability for sadness.


I went through a stage where I told myself I hated her. That she ruined my life. That she had killed who I was as a person. That I would never be the same again and I'm not. I'm better. I don't know if our relationship helped her at all. But strangely enough at the end of all of it, I'm glad it happened. I am glad I spent a year like that. I am glad I had a really really shit time and a really bad experience. I look at it as, if it hadn't happened I wouldn't be who I am now, doing what I do now, knowing who I know now. So I guess the right thing to say is, thankyou. It's a weird thing to say to an ex-girlfriend but I truly mean it when I say thankyou. The things I have learned, the person I have become is all thanks to you and I owe you that much.



So that's my story. I know you've got your own. Nothing is a bad experience, nothing is pointless. Everything has a purpose, meaning or maybe just something to teach you to grow. Never ever look back on something as 'bad'. Consider it a 'growing period' until you could come out better afterwards. Take happiness from the smallest things, there is millions. When you find something big that gives you plenty of happiness. Cling to it, never let it go. These things are beyond priceless.

The Eternal 'What If'

With every decision you make in your life, there is the always lingering, always nagging, always second-guessing 'what if',
When you choose option A, what if option B was better?
When you go left, what if you went right?
When you eat this, what if you ate that?
When you pick her, what if you picked her?
When you drive this, what if you drove that?
When you say no, what if you said yes?
When you went to maccas, what if you went to hungry jacks?
When you watched star wars categorically, what if you watched them by year of release date?


My point is, EVERY decision had a 'what if'. Even the tiny ones, if there's a yes, then there is always a no. It's like in order for there to be good, there has to be evil. Not trying to say the 'what if' is evil, it's a good thing actually. The beauty of 'what if' is it keeps your head thinking, considering, planning, plotting, deciding. When you do something that you have no choice in, it's not scary, it's not fun.
This is what you are doing. Do it. Your response is: Ok.
or, consider..
You can do this, OR you can do THIS!
Your response: This! No this! Wait, maybe this! Or perhaps this!
Your mind is now in mass overload trying to decide the better decision. Trying to work out all possible ends and outcomes from both decisions. Trying to work out which is going to better you in the long or short run. Weighing up advantages to disadvantages, pro's to con's, benefits to hindrances. After all of this thought and re-thought, you still haven't decided. In a single second, your mind re-runs this process about 5.8 billion times and then plays eney, meeney, miney, mo. We like to think we control the decisions we make, but we really don't.


There is so many parts of us that all take a share in our decision and pre-thought process. You, start making a decision, just you. A party in a big empty house. Then people slowly start rocking up to your party. Indecisiveness stands by the bar, trying to decide between a vodka martini and a scotch. Rationality arrives in his best suit and takes a seat to the side of the dance floor. Pro turns up, with a very drunken unable to stand con hanging off his arm. Prioritization turns up to DJ and starts playing songs alphabetically by artist last name. Sex drive arrives, in her brand new supre dress that doesn't leave much to the imagination. Impulsiveness throws open the door, grabs a scotch and heads straight to the dance floor with sex drive. So you've now got this rocking, mental party going on in your mind.

Did you invite any of these people? No.
Is it all necessary they be there? Yes.
Are they all going to get smashed, have a massive fight and whoever is left standing at the end wins? No. There's still more to come.

Happy 'What If' party!  All the thoughts and ideas that run through your mind when making a decision have turned up, just for you! Except one. So let's take an example decision. You are walking through a spooky forest at night. You look down at your watch, it reads ten minutes to midnight. You see a glowing light off in the distance. You wonder what if could be, should you go after it? No, you decide. (You win this round, rationality) But suddenly you stop yourself. A question has occurred to you. What if you didn't go home and you did chase the light? What if?

That is the one question that fucks with your head. The worst part is it's not one question, it's a doorway to millions of questions and possibilities. This is why, so often impulsiveness then takes over from rationality. Because of 'what if'! If you hadn't asked yourself that silly, silly question you would be on your way home, not wondering if there is wolves on your walk to this light, or what awaits you at the light, or if there is someone by the light, or if it is a light at a house. ANY POSSIBILITY, excites you. Once the 'what if' question is asked, you are now on an adventure. However insignificant or not, you're on one. Whether you want to be or not, you are son.

I'm sure by this point you are starting to realize all the things you hadn't beforehand and you now hate me for. BUT 'what if' is good. It keeps you alive, on your toes, on a cliff face, on the side of a volcano, naked, upside down and you have no idea why the fuck. But WHAT IF YOU HADN'T! Life's decision are not always easy. They're not supposed to be. Life without challenge, is hardly life. You don't grow, change or gain anything. Adding 'what if' makes it even harder and I LOVE that.

I don't care what situation you're in. Whether you are trying to decide over,
A job,
A car,
A girl,
A house,
Breakfast,
Your favourite colour,
What to get your mum for mother's day,
Whether or not your should spend your weekend doing your maths assignment full well knowing you will be up all hours of the night before cursing yourself for not doing it.

It doesn't matter! Add 'what if' to it. It sucks! And that's awesome! At the end of the day whatever decision you make 'what if' is all bullshit and all fake.

You only get one shot at this life, so once you have made your decision FORGET 'what if'. If you consider and wonder afterwards, you are going to kill yourself. Imagining all the fucks-ups you could never have made, the people you could have not pissed off, the girls you could have won over, the car you might not have crashed. These are bad thoughts. Whether you believe in fate or not, there is a reason you made the decision you made. People are often irrational, but never entirely. Even if you don't know it, there is a reason you chose what you did. Maybe your house burned down because otherwise you never would have moved to europe two years later. Maybe she said no to marrying you so you could meet your dream girl a couple of years later. Maybe you missed that bus, because you were meant to meet that person on the bus. WHO KNOWS! I don't, but I can assure you that there is a reason for every decision you make. Life is not a random gathering of people, doing random things in random ways in random places. Somehow, somewhere there is a plan. However loose or unscripted this plan is. It's there. Things happen for a reason, believe it. It makes the painful decisions a lot easier.